Can the 9 Attitudes of Mindfulness do Harm?

By Mo Edjlali, Mindful Leader Founder and CEO

If you have ever taken Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) or are familiar with the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, you probably have heard of the nine attitudes of mindfulness. Initially, Jon Kabat-Zinn described these attitudes in his book Full Catastrophe Living. They are foundational attitudes essential for cultivating mindfulness: non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, letting go, gratitude, and generosity. These attitudes are not only central to practicing mindfulness, but they also aim to enhance our engagement with the present moment, enriching our experiences and interactions in everyday life. The idea behind these attitudes is to guide us toward a more profound awareness and connection with ourselves and the world around us.

At Mindful Leader we discuss these attitudes in our 8-Week MBSR course, as well as in our Certified Workplace Mindfulness Facilitator Certification (CWMF).  Yet, a lack of nuanced understanding can lead to misconceptions, inadvertently turning these well-meaning attitudes into sources of confusion and even potential harm.

Misinterpretations of the Attitudes

Below, we will delve into the nine attitudes and explore how they might be misinterpreted. You might wonder why would Mindful Leader question the very attitudes we teach to the thousands who have taken MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) and CWMF (Cultivating Well-Being in the Workplace: Mindfulness Meditation) with us? Our ultimate goal is to serve our community best, free from dogmatic views or sacred beliefs—even if it means questioning ourselves.

And frankly, this inquiry is also personal for me. I faced challenges integrating these attitudes into how I lead and live when I first encountered them.  I came to understand that these attitudes applied when I was meditating, but when it came to living mindfully, following these attitudes was not only unrealistic, it created an imbalance.  And worse yet I found myself unable to live and lead mindfully if it meant following these attitudes at face-value. 

How might a misunderstanding or misapplication of these attitudes diverge from our aspirations? How can someone aspiring to live and work mindfully encounter difficulties? By examining each attitude, its intended purpose, its potential misapplication,  and providing an example, we aim to shed more light and spur discussion about these questions.

• Non-judging:  
  • Intention: To cultivate an awareness that observes thoughts and experiences without labeling them as good or bad, fostering a more compassionate and open-minded perspective.
  • Misapplication: Could lead to the dismissal of critical thought, resulting in passive acceptance of unfavorable behaviors or circumstances. Critical discernment is essential in making informed decisions and cannot be entirely forsaken.
  • Example: Someone repeatedly excuses a friend's disrespectful behavior towards them, thinking they're practicing non-judgment. Over time, this leads to a diminished sense of self-worth and resentment in the friendship.
    

• Patience
  • Intention: Encourages a calm and enduring approach to life's challenges, recognizing that some things unfold in their own time, which can counteract the pervasive demand for instant gratification.
  • Misapplication: Misinterpreted as an endless waiting for change, it might trap individuals in detrimental situations without taking proactive steps for improvement or resolution.
  • Example: A person remains in a deteriorating, unfulfilling relationship, believing that patience will resolve the deep-seated issues. This misguided patience results in years lost to unhappiness and prevents both partners from moving forward.

• Beginner’s Mind
  • Intention: Approaching experiences with an open and curious mindset, as if encountering them for the first time, which can lead to richer and more nuanced understandings
  • Misapplication: Neglecting the value of past knowledge and experiences might block the application of valuable life lessons, hindering growth and learning.
  • Example: In learning a new skill, an individual dismisses all prior related knowledge they have, wanting to approach it with a 'beginner’s mind.' This results in unnecessary struggles and frustration, prolonging the learning process.
    

• Trust
  • Intention: Developing trust in one’s intuition and feelings as a guide for personal truth and authenticity.
  • Misapplication: An unquestioning belief in one's immediate thoughts and feelings may lead to hasty and ill-considered decisions, overlooking the complexity of situations.
  • Example: Trusting their intuition without question, someone makes a significant life decision, like moving to a new city, without adequately considering the practical implications. The decision leads to unexpected challenges and regrets.

• Non-striving
  • Intention: Focusing on being present and engaged in the current moment rather than being fixated on achieving specific outcomes, which can reduce stress and increase contentment.
  • Misapplication: Could be misunderstood as rejecting all forms of ambition or goals, leading to a lack of direction and purpose in life.
  • Example: Taking non-striving to mean no ambition or planning for the future, an individual may neglect their career or education. This lack of engagement can lead to missed opportunities, financial instability, and regret.

• Acceptance
  
  • Intention: Recognizing and acknowledging things as they are without trying to change or resist them, facilitating a more serene and less conflicted existence.
    
  • Misapplication: Can be confused with passive resignation, causing individuals to endure unhealthy or harmful conditions without seeking change.
  • Example: An individual uses acceptance as a rationale for not addressing critical health issues, thinking they should simply accept their condition. This avoidance of proactive health management can lead to worsened conditions and reduced quality of life.

• Letting Go
  
  • Intention: The practice of releasing attachment to thoughts, feelings, or outcomes, which fosters emotional freedom and resilience.
    
  • Misapplication: Could lead to avoidance in addressing and processing emotional issues, which is essential for emotional health and growth.
  • Example: After a personal conflict, someone decides to 'let go' of the anger without expressing or processing their feelings. This suppression can lead to unresolved emotions and strain in relationships.

• Gratitude
  • Intention: Fosters an appreciation for what one has, countering tendencies toward negativity and entitlement and enhancing overall well-being.
  • Misapplication: Might be seen as overlooking or invalidating genuine distress and challenges, which can hinder authentic emotional processing and resolution.
  • Example: Overemphasizing gratitude for the small joys in life, a person may neglect to address significant dissatisfaction in their life situation, such as a lackluster career or unfulfilling relationships, leading to a sense of being stuck.
    

• Generosity
  • Intention: Encourages giving and sharing from a place of kindness and abundance, enhancing connections with others and fostering a sense of community.
  • Misapplication: Misinterpreted as limitless giving without regard for one's own resources or well-being can lead to burnout and resentment.
  • Example: A person, in their effort to be generous, continuously puts others' needs before their own, to the point of neglecting their own well-being. This imbalance can result in burnout and resentment, undermining the very relationships they hoped to strengthen.
    

Embracing Dialectical Thinking and the Balance of Yin and Yang in Mindfulness

Dialectical thinking is a pivotal skill for navigating the complexities of life, advocating for the synthesis of seemingly opposite ideas to uncover a balanced perspective. Characterized by mental flexibility, it enables a nuanced understanding of complex situations. Having fallen victim to some of the misapplications of the attitudes, I found myself confused and losing belief in the practicality of working or living mindfully.  I also judged "how mindful" I was by distorted ideals.  I found more reasonable attitudes within Stoicism, which resonated with me as a more practical and authentic way to navigate life's ups and downs.

However, finding balance through integrating opposites is not exclusive to Stoic or Western thought. The ancient Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang exemplifies this concept, demonstrating how opposites are interconnected and interdependent. Yin and Yang symbolize the fundamental dualities of the universe, with Yin representing qualities like stillness, darkness, and receptivity, while Yang embodies activity, brightness, and expansion. This philosophy underscores that for harmony to be achieved, opposites must not only coexist but also complement and depend on each other. It illustrates the natural order of the world, where every entity and phenomenon exhibits both Yin and Yang aspects to varying degrees, embodying the essence of dialectical thinking in understanding and maintaining the balance of life.

Yin and Yang are dynamic; their balance is not static but constantly shifting and evolving in response to the changing circumstances. This interplay is thought to be the driving force behind change in the natural world, influencing the cycles of nature, the changing of seasons, and even the ebb and flow of human experiences. The idea encourages a holistic view of life, recognizing that seemingly opposing forces or conditions often lead to the creation of something new and are essential for growth and transformation

In mindfulness, dialectical thinking can play a crucial role, promoting harmonizing each mindfulness attitude with its essential counterpart. This approach can ensure a balanced and adaptable mindfulness practice.  This concept was missing in my practice, and when I started exploring it and applying it I found more peace and authenticity in dealing with work and life challenges. 

Applying Dialectical Thinking to the Attitudes

What if we applied the dialectical method and the dynamic of Yin and Yang to our understanding of these attitudes? Maybe we can help correct common misunderstandings and misapplication of the mindfulness attitudes that are causing harm.  Let's look at these attitudes with a possible counterbalance to help understand how dialectical thinking might apply to these attitudes. 

• Non-judging AND Critical Engagement: Observing experiences without judgment balanced with critical thinking to address and resolve negative situations effectively.
• Patience AND Proactive Change: True patience is about recognizing and acting on opportunities for change, not merely waiting.
• Beginner’s Mind AND Leveraging Experience: A beginner’s mind complements, and does not discard, the wisdom of past experiences, fostering informed personal growth.
• Trust AND Discernment: Trusting one's intuition balanced with careful consideration of broader contexts and potential outcomes leads to the best outcome.
• Non-striving AND Goal Orientation: Living in the moment can coexist with pursuing meaningful goals, creating a purposeful life without attachment to specific results.
• Acceptance AND Advocacy for Change: Acceptance can empower action and change, not signify resignation.
• Letting Go AND Emotional Engagement: Mindfully letting go involves confronting and processing emotions, not avoiding them.
• Gratitude AND Acknowledgment of Challenges: A grateful outlook should acknowledge and engage with life’s difficulties.
• Generosity AND Boundaries: Generosity requires self-awareness and self-care to ensure sustainability and enrich the giver and receiver.

By incorporating dialectical thinking into our understanding of these attitudes and our mindfulness practice, perhaps we can deepen its practicality as a means for personal growth, emotional resilience, and for integrating mindfulness into our work and daily lives authentically. 

Have you ever misinterpreted or misapplied any of these attitudes? Have you seen or experienced any harmful effects? Do you think a dialectic approach can help?