Permission to Feel: How to Unlock the Power of Emotions

The Power of Emotional Intelligence (EI) in Leadership and Personal Life

Dr. Brackett begins by emphasizing the profound impact emotional intelligence has on leadership and success. Drawing from his experiences at Yale, he notes that in highly competitive environments where everyone possesses strong intellectual abilities, it is emotional intelligence that distinguishes those who truly excel. Emotional intelligence drives our attention, decision-making, and relationships, making it a critical skill for leaders. Research presented during the session showed that leaders with high emotional intelligence foster more satisfied, engaged, and inspired teams. This underlines the notion that EI is not a "soft skill" but a crucial component of effective leadership and personal success.

The RULER Framework for Emotional Skills

A central part of the session was the introduction of the RULER framework, which Dr. Brackett and his team have developed to teach emotional skills. RULER stands for Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions. Each component is vital for managing one's emotions and fostering healthy interpersonal relationships. Dr. Brackett illustrated the challenges people face in accurately identifying and understanding their emotions, often leading to misunderstandings and ineffective emotional regulation. He stressed the importance of becoming an "emotion scientist" rather than an "emotion judge," encouraging participants to approach emotions with curiosity and empathy, rather than judgment and dismissal.

A Call for Systemic Emotional Education

In his closing remarks, Dr. Brackett issued a compelling call to action, advocating for systemic emotional education. He argued that it is a moral obligation to ensure that every child receives an education in emotional intelligence, as it is foundational to their future success and well-being. Dr. Brackett shared his personal journey, acknowledging the privileges and support systems that allowed him to overcome adversity. He emphasized that not everyone is as fortunate and that society must create environments—whether in schools, workplaces, or homes—where everyone has the "permission to feel" and express their emotions in healthy ways. This systemic approach to emotional education is essential for fostering a more emotionally intelligent and compassionate society.

Final Thoughts

The session served as a profound reminder of the importance of emotional intelligence in all areas of life. Through his insights on leadership, the RULER framework, and the need for systemic emotional education, Dr. Brackett offered practical tools and a powerful vision for creating a more emotionally intelligent world. His message is clear: by prioritizing emotional intelligence, we can enhance not only our personal and professional lives but also contribute to a more empathetic and understanding society.

Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center, Yale School of Medicine at Yale University. His grant-funded research focuses on the role of emotions in learning, decision making, creativity, relationship quality, wellbeing, performance, and organizational climate; the measurement of emotional intelligence; and the influence of emotional intelligence training on key life outcomes. Marc is the author of Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help our Kids, Ourselves, and our Society Thrive.